February 2, 2010

It's been too long

My blogs have been full of excuses about why I haven't blogged of late.  Last week I was sick, and work was a real clusterfuck.  Things are slowly returning to normal. Here's a funny tidbit that arrived in my email this morning.  Enjoy!

The ' Corporate ' language !!

'We will do it' means ‘You will do it'
'You have done a great job' means 'More work to be given to you'
'We are working on it' means 'We have not yet started working on the same'
'Tomorrow, first thing in the morning' means 'Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow!'
'After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views' means 'I have already decided, I will tell you what to do'
'There was a slight miscommunication' means 'We had actually lied'
'Lets call a meeting and discuss' means 'I have no time now, will talk later'
'We can always do it' means 'We actually cannot do the same on time'
'We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline' means 'The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.'
'We had slight differences of opinion' means 'We had actually fought'
'Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you' means 'Anyway you have to find a way out , no help from me'
'You should have told me earlier' means 'Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!'
'We need to find out the real reason' means 'Well I will tell you where your fault is'
'Well.... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected' means 'Well you know...you have to work overtime and on weekends too'
'We are a team' means 'I am not the only one to be blamed'
'That's actually a good question' means 'I do not know anything about it'
'All the Best' means ' You are in trouble'

1 comment:

  1. hahaha

    i have a post called 'f*ck'. you should check it out.

    just a postscript. i love that word 'clusterfuck'. never heard it, and it produced a smile. awesome dude! hehe